Ruined Glans

On my Facebook feed recently an intactivist posted something from the Not Yours To Cut site which I thought would be informative to share here. By clicking here you can access the site and the exact content of what I saw in my Facebook feed.

The content has a rather “sandwich” feel to it. It starts with text to read (only a little) and ends with a little more reading. The beginning text covers the the idea of how precious an un-ruined glans is and speaks to females about the idea of their own genitals being mutilated. The last bit of text focuses a little differently and discusses more the “matte” texture of a ruined glans, but still speaks to those who are female or who are with females. This is probably lost on many people, but that’s a shame because few things highlight the insanity of circumcision like shining light on how people view the idea of slicing off female genital parts versus how they view the same happening to males.

In the same way the text is split and acts like the “bread” of the sandwich which is the page’s content, so to the photo content. The umm….. meat of the post is the photo content which lies in between the bread text. I almost found this humorously ironic since the penis is sometimes colloquially called “meat” and also has an anatomical feature called “meatus.” Anyway, enough playing on words. The photos create a contrast similar to that created by the text in that at the top of the page there are photos of uncut penises to demonstrate the anatomy and some physiology and to present the first half of the contract between being cut and uncut. The latter half of the photo content presents the effects of removing the foreskin, and so the “sandwich” is completed.

I trust that you will find the site and the page of it which I have referenced here to be easily accessible and easily understood.

Thanks for reading.

Facebook Games

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So… I’ve waited about a full week to really write anything here about something that is just so annoying and frustrating to me. Facebook foreskin restoration groups. I’ve written here a number of times, having used or been inspired by things I come across in one of what used to be two Facebook groups which were made for those of us restoring or our supporters. Truly, despite the presence of emotionally reckless people and drama starters and the occasional pervert, the groups have been an incredible and invaluable resource. If nothing else, the groups allowed people to connect with each other and know that we’re not alone. Beyond that, though, members of these groups often shared links to various sites they found or alternate ways of approaching a certain technique might be shared. It was good. Really good, actually.

There was one group which didn’t allow any content beyond what might classify as “PG-13” and from there members could be added to another group wherein content of a far more mature nature was allowed – with the understanding that the member requesting to be added accepted that they understood the nature of the content and verifying that this was no issue. Some months ago there was a rash of content reporting in the mature-content group. It wasn’t anything on a massive scale and seemed really kind of random as far as who and what was reported. I hadn’t posted in a while, but I was reported then. In fact, the content of mine which was reported wasn’t anything that would actually be considered the same as those others whose pics were reported. A link to this blog was reported and I received Facebook’s equivalent of a slap on the hand. It was painless enough, really. I just had to re-acknowledge the terms and conditions for using Facebook and that was the end of it – probably because it was my first ever offense. Still, it highlights that you didn’t necessarily even has to post a progress pic (pic of your penis) to be reported. My content was, after all, a link to an external site, a blog – this blog. Whatever.

At that time, although relatively small in scale, it caused quite an uproar. People felt violated and unsafe and probably the worst of it all was that the Admins and Moderators of the group were really at a loss about what to do to regain security. It was around that time I decided that I’d focus most of my “posts” to be on here instead of on Facebook. For one,  it will help build this blog as an independent resource for others to view and isn’t limited to “approved memberships.” And another perk of posting here instead of on Facebook is that no one can report me. Before starting this blog I contacted the “powers that be” here at WordPress and jumped through the necessary hoops they outlined. But still, for inspiration as well as access to the resources there, I stayed as member in the groups. (To be clear, the PG-13 group mentioned above is pretty inactive and mostly useless.)

But then, a week ago, someone went of a reporting massacre spree and brought again more havoc to the same group. and on a far larger scale than before. I have no idea if this was the same person / people or not. The admins/ mods of the group don’t seem to be sure, either. Many were reported for having posted content to the group. Some of these were reported in the first round of drama and so since this wasn’t their first offense, people were being blocked for varying periods of time depending on how much of their content was reported. Again, I was a victim of this nonsense. I was reported twice and, luckily, received only a one-day ban. Others were banned for longer. Throughout most of this recent mayhem I remained in touch with a guy who lives in Indiana and is also an Admin of the group. He gave me some valuable insights into what the Admins were going through and just how much at a loss they were with regard to saving the group. At one point, they were trying to take content down to prevent it from being reported but it was being reported faster than they can do that. When there are a handful of people going through and trying to take down content and it’s still being reported faster than they can work, then it seems pretty obvious that the one doing the reporting was pretty much just clicking on anything and everything and reporting it all.  So malicious and petty!

This led to the mature-content group being hollowed out almost entirely. A new, third group was created basically to replace the second group. I was the sixth member of that group and when I was added four of the six members were Admins. The next thing I know, the membership of the second group had ballooned and shortly after that the third group was deleted…. or so I was told. Then next, the second group was deleted.

I’m generally a cynical person and I’m not sure I fully believe that the other groups were really and truly totally deleted. SO many people were interested and wanting those groups, despite the risks involved. So the cynic in me feels like I’m being lied to. This isn’t case, as far as what I’ve been told by the Admin I’m closer to. A big part of me believes that and I think even if the slate were wiped clean from the other two groups and a super secret group was established that I’d be added into it. But then that cynic in my mind speaks up again. So basically I go back and forth between trusting what I’m told and feeling like there’s somehow some kind of suspicion about the nature of my own character. This bothers me a lot since I’m sincere. I can point to a dozen members in these groups that I think, for a number of reasons, SHOULD be investigated but for somoe reason aren’t being checked into and what’s worse is that one or two of them are even being made Admins of these groups!

It’s easy to point fingers from where I sit. I know that. But there’s still some things that really ought to be so obvious – and yet don’t seem to be obvious to those it would matter the most. Even Helen Keller would be able to see that history is doomed to repeat itself in these groups so long as the admins and moderators remain as clueless as they have. And that’s sad. I do have some suggestions, and I’ve touched on them a bit with the Admin I speak most with. Unless I’m approached as a valued member of that community for my ideas on how to crack down and safeguard the future, I’ll keep my other ideas to myself.

At any rate, until the restoration community on Facebook stabilizes I’m not terribly interested. It surely hurts to be excluded (if that’s at all what’s happening to me, and it probably isn’t, but whatever) but in reality as long as things don’t change with Admins the only thing I’m really missing out on is risk. I’ll be happy for now to stick with my own space here as well as the restoringforeskin site.

Thanks for reading.

Gary Burlingame

Gary Burlingame - pic taken from Gary's Facebook page

 

Gary Burlingame was a man I encountered only online and really only in connection with our dicks. That probably sounds really shady, but it’s the plain truth. I might have known him / been friended on the forums website or seen some of his posts. I know he was somewhat active in the private restoration groups on Facebook that I belong to and at the time of this writing, one of his posts has been pinned to the top of the group’s timeline / news feed. I’ll share that here …

“Foreskin restoration: a tried and true remedy for those men unfairly deprived of the birthright of an intact body. This group is for sharing information, techniques, and concerns about restoration. We certainly welcome women because there is the rare woman who was also cut and plenty that are here to help their partner. It is apparent that all the women here are supportive and understand that due to alexithymia the men here need a lot of space to be able to participate.”

On his individual Facebook page, his last post is a “We must stop Trump” repost, which I think further illustrates the person he was.

He passed are the beginning of the last week of March, this year. Although we didn’t interact much directly, despite being friends in a number of online mediums he was clearly someone of a good heart and active in life. Between Facebook and the forum site, it was apparent that he was well-known and had been around for a while to help pave the path for those following after him.

This is tremendous and here’s why – life doesn’t stop with you. Regardless of the context, there was a massive sea of humanity which came before you and either forged a path for you or helped additionally clear the path forged by even earlier personalities. And of those who came before you but who neither forged a path nor helped to clear it further, there were those who helped pave the forged / cleared path. Everyone, from every generation, plays a role in what those who come later will inherit.

We often hear about this in the context of our shared planetary environment and natural resources, right? “What will our grandchildren inherit from us?” Truly, this applies to every context everywhere within life. Anyone parenting is benefited by any parents which came before. Laborers, the same. Scientists? Yep. Everything everywhere is built upon that which came before it. This is no less true – and maybe even truer at this point in history – with foreskin restoration.

Anyone who belongs to a Facebook group or a forum website or … whatever … is basing their own attempt on the work of those before them. That requires people – men and women – to be open about this. We should continue to educate the public about the risks off circumcision or at least how medically unnecessary it is. We should continue to document and re-document our efforts and experiments. Work for your progress and for your restoration but share for the help and benefit of others. This require a certain level of visibility and confidence and heart – which I think Gary was known to have and which is what I’m attempting here at Velanidi.

Thanks for reading.

Retainer (DTR)

In a prior post I mentioned that I purchased from “DTR Chuck” the DTR kit and the matching retainer. The retainer is what this post is about.

The retainer I bought from Chuck, and any retainer really, is essentially a loose bell-shaped form that fits over the glans and has an outer gripper to hold (retain) the skin in place. This gripper is a bit looser than the gripper on the DTR. The reason for this is that the DTR using active and dual tension – it’s purposefully stressing the skin – and so it needs a strong and rather tight grip. For retaining, however, the real purpose isn’t to stress the skin, but more to train or condition it.

A week or so ago I was advised in a KIK group that that retaining isn’t something newbies should attempt and, in fact, that retaining really ought only to be tackled by men who have full flaccid coverage. The thought behind that advice, as far as I understood it, is that the de-keratinization process with the glans will begin before there is enough skin to consistently cover the glans and so this eventually “traps” the wearer into needing something over the glans 24 / 7 until enough skin has been grown to achieve that coverage.

I generally leave wide births for everyone’s opinion. And I’m sure, for someone out there, this advice will hold true to some degree. But for me, in my mind and in my body, this isn’t a legit concern. For starters, those of us without full flaccid coverage probably aren’t going to retain any more than we are tugging or using tension (in whatever method). Because of that, it’s likely there will still be significant chunks of one’s day where neither retaining nor restoring are being actively attempted. Those “off” times will be enough to keep the de-keratinization process from taking off too quickly. Another reason why I don’t agree with that advice is that it’s doesn’t seem very widespread. In researching restoration and popping around a billion places online – Facebook groups, KIK chats, restoration forums, informational websites, you name it – you end up seeing much of the same information repeated. Lots of minor twists because we’re all different and starting at different places, etc… But of all the places I’ve been and read and connected with others NONE of them have brought this up as something significant or universal enough that the general restoring population should be made aware. Quite literally, there has been ONE instance of this coming up in advice. That’s not nearly enough for me to trust it fully enough to implement it.

One reason I do retain currently is that I want my restoration process to be as thorough and controlled and planned as possible. And part of that plan is to make sure that everything is guided as it occurs. If I spend an hour or two or three stressing the skin to be more than it currently is, then I feel it’s a good investment to likewise train that skin to go and be where I want it to. Not retaining along the way seems to me to create a “growth plan” that will first develop a bunch of skin – and I mean skin that’s basically bunched up but loose – and then once there would be enough to cover the glans flaccidly, train it to do so. I’d rather encourage the skin to do what I want it to do as it becomes increasingly able to do what I want it to do. In this way, retaining also becomes a very gentle form of restoration. There are additional reasons for why I not only think it’s a bad idea to wait to start retaining but also is actually good to retain as early as possible, but those things are not worth going into in great depth here. If someone doesn’t want to retain before he has full flaccid coverage, then he won’t. That kind of thing is ultimately a personal choice and we’re all responsible for the duration and success of our own respective restoration journey.

Before buying the retainer offered through the DTR website I did some research that led me to a number of online videos and other tutorials on how to make a retainer using baby bottle nipples. I have a post planned where I share that process and pics of that retainer. My biggest complaint about the baby bottle nipple retainer is that, for me, it was a challenge to alter is enough according to my own anatomy that it would become comfortable to wear. More on that in the planned post once it’s published here.

Below you will see pics of me wearing the retainer made by the maker of the DTR, Chuck. This is the same item I was wearing in the last post in the pics where I was using weight to tug. Among the items received when my order from Chuck came in the mail are a progression of increasingly long threaded screws and wing nuts that allow for more and more weight to be added to this device. In the pics below you’ll see a hole / opening which is where the aforementioned screw was threaded. The general idea / process with retaining is to roll any extra or loose skin over and onto the bell and then to apply the outer gripper – which should, comparatively, have a gentle or loose grip on the skin it grabs. At the time of these pics, I was only a couple weeks into my restoration process and had hardly enough skin to use for retaining OR for the DTR. Fortunately, I’ve seen progress and I think you’ll notice the additional skin in future posts.

 

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Thanks for reading.

Well, Good for You

I received one more response to the Foreskin Restoration ad I had placed on Craigslist and I could have done without it. You may recall that one of the responses received so far came from a man, I think his email said his name is “Jim Swails.”(likely a dummy name) Jim, in all his glory, sent pics of his intact self along with a couple sentences letting me know he is uncut and how much he absolutely loves it.

The email that arrived today came from a man whose email address tells me is called, “Gene Trueblood,” which I likewise suspect isn’t his real name. His email read, “Why would you want. I have been this way for 50 plus years. You get yeast infections and have to wash more to keep smell down.”

Before I could respond he sent another email with his pic – which I’ll try to include in this post. In more than one way, I found Gene to be unimpressive.

 

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My answer to his first email went like this…

“Gene – Thanks for the response. However, I’m unclear as to the purpose of your email. If you are happy as a circumcised male and see no need for restoration for yourself, then why respond at all? The ad is very clear that only those who are interested in the restoration process should respond, and no one in our group has any interest in arguing. Please clarify your reason for responding and sending the pic. – P.S. Whether you are genuinely interested in restoration or not, it’s recommendable that you seek deeper knowledge about the matter. Your statements about yeast infections, etc… really are neither accurate nor valid to this topic.”

Because I was reading his email from my work laptop I didn’t open the email he sent containing the pic – had I, I would have seen that he appears to be intact just like good ole Jim Swails. Seeing that before I answered him back would likely have changed my email to him – but only by a little.

In hindsight, he seems to almost come off as those he wishes he were circumcised – I’ve only encountered this kind of thing one other time: A neighbor who was left intact at birth and decided to be circumcised as an adult. If being uncut is such a burden I wonder why Gene has never gone through with the chop. Interestingly, the neighbor who DID go through with it now regrets it a bit.

I honestly don’t understand these men. Jim Swails apparently wants to be some kind of exhibitionist and rub it in our faces that he’s intact and we’re not. And Gene Trueblood seems to wish he were cut and seems to want to dissuade others who want to be like him – as we all started.

I don’t understand the logic: Some want to be like, “Haha – I have what was taken from you!” while others want to say, “I am what you once were and you’re better off” and seem insulted or disgusted that other would want to be like them.

I’m honestly baffled as to why so many people struggle with the idea of “live and let live” – especially in the context of an online ad that nobody is asking them answer!

Thanks for reading.

Brothers, II

Today’s events make an update on group formation sound like a good idea. Since the last “Brothers” post, I’ve met with two others. In fact, some of what was expected in the last post didn’t actually happen.

The brother I expected to meet with who had the hotel room suggestion turned out to have a “schedule conflict” the Sunday we were to meet, which I found out about only late the night before. So that didn’t happen. I explained to him at that time that the usual fullness of my schedule would mean that he and I likely wouldn’t be able to get together with him for at least a week.

In the week that followed, I received another response to the ad and met with that person. That much happened actually quite quickly. He answered the ad and answered the questionnaire and we texted quite a bit over the following 24hrs. (This was maybe for the duration of a Sunday night and throughout Monday) I had a good feeling about him – and that feeling turned out correct. We met soon after connecting online and via text, and chatted for a surprisingly long time. I’m happy to report that I think he’ll be a great addition to the group and hopefully an active and valuable member.

Last Thursday (three days ago now), I had a second meeting with the guy who would probably be considered the first brother. (I don’t count, of course.) Actually, it could be considered our third meeting – he and I first met at a Starbucks, then we met once at his house, and the last Thursday we met again at his house. The Starbucks meeting was obviously discussion only and was me feeling out things like his knowledge level and comfortability with the subject. The first meeting at his house (technically our second time getting together) was a lot of discussion and almost as much “show-n-tell.” I brought all the devices and gadgetry I possessed at the time and we had a kind of demo session. The most recent meeting we had was almost entirely discussion and we covered a lot of important topics like group size, conduct during meetings, potential meeting content, materials that might be beneficial for meetings, and how to progressively increase the size of the group in an incremental way (which will mostly be needed only until we have 3-4 guys who meet consistently, after which point that will be less important.) He acknowledged the work I’ve done in fielding the responses to the ad and went further to let me know that he was not only very appreciative but also that he was willing to assist as able … possibly allowing for his home to the be primary meeting location and helping to “interview” future brothers expressing interest. And actually, the guy I met so suddenly also said he’d be willing to assist in sorting out candidates and coordinating schedules.

And then there was the “interview” today. I finally was able to coordinate a meeting time (also at a Starbucks) with the guy I had planned to meet who had schedule conflict. This brother and I had already emailed a bit, texted a lot, and had a phone conversation. We agreed to meet at 1130 and he showed up at noon. We made our introductions and then reviewed some online resources together. We also had some high-level discussion about the group wherein he reiterated his willingness to be the group’s Vice President. I was kind of glad when he used air quotes while saying that because the group surely will not have a President, let alone a Vice. But I think I understand his sentiment. Willingness to help is a good thing to see consistently among brothers.

So… I’ve now connected, in person, with three brothers locally. A couple more have dropped off the radar and one more remains to be met with in person. I think there are tentative plans to try to connect in the coming week, but who knows.

I do feel like the approach so far toward answering the ad responses, fielding those responses, interviewing guys, and then connecting those dots one brother at a time is likely the most productive and protective way to go about it. Connecting with one brother at a time and adding to the group in the same manner is a slow way to go about it, and is a process that will become less and less necessary as the group grows and individual protection is more inherent to the groups functionality, but at this point is an effective way to build the group.

I’m so looking forward to where this could lead – the friendship and brotherhood formed, the encouragement from actual people who are local and accessible, and the progress we all make together I feel is a real benefit.

Thanks for reading.

Strange Afternoon at Urologist

There was a forum post that I happened across recently on the restoringforeskin site. I’m really loving that site. The past week was so full for me that I wasn’t able to get onto the site much, and this weekend I’ve gone back on (which is when I came across the forum post that this post is about) and I’m glad to have. It really is a great resource for any man looking to restore and it’s one of the first resources I direct guys toward when I learn that they are considering restoration. Cited below is a direct copy / paste I did from the forum post I just mentioned. The title of this post (I think) is the same as the forum post.

I wanted to bring the content of that post to Velanidi because I also received the opinion of a urologist. My primary care physician was the first medical personality that I mentioned restoration to and she readily admitted her ignorance on the matter – an admission I appreciate. I’d much rather someone outright say they know nothing on a matter and ask to be included on developments (as she did) for the sake of rectifying that ignorance than automatically assuming the mention was of something bogus and then dismiss it entirely or worse yet, advise against it. So my PCP admitted she knew nothing, then roped in a trusted urologist friend – whose opinion she said she values greatly. The feedback from the urologist was minimal and less than encouraging. The answer we received was that this urologist considered there to be almost no medical backing for restoration efforts or methods and that the overall opinion is that I would be disappointed with my results.

Even with that having been said, my primary care didn’t tell me I shouldn’t. The experience shared below is overall more positive than the one I had, but still kind of what I would expect. Notable influences in this experience are that the patient AND doctor are both gay, and I really think that makes all the difference. Hopefully, you will take from this as much as I did and find it overall to be inspiriting.

Thanks for reading!

“I’ve seen a few other posts on this topic, but no two are ever the same. I made an appointment with a new urologist for a basic prostate check up (nothing major, maybe just prostatitis) and specifically chose this one because he’s male, gay, and got great ratings as someone who spends time with his patients and isn’t running the meter and using a stopwatch. I was his last appt of the day and the only person in the waiting room. Bingo so far! Got checked in, met him, got the finger exam and chit-chatted about that topic and a couple of others I had listed, and then he asked if that was for this visit. No, one last item: For almost 20 years, I’ve been doing this thing called foreskin restoration. Are you familiar with it? What’s your opinion about it from a medical POV.

“He grinned, raised an eyebrow, and sat back and folded his arms. He was quite familiar with it! I thought for a second he was going to say he was doing it as we spoke, but no. His familiarity with it was a little different. He’s performed three, count ’em THREE circs on guys who restored and didn’t like the results!!! So these would be re-circs!!! He was baffled by the requests and the whole process, but he did them. One was done on a friend. He knew nothing about said friend’s restoring until he came to see him professionally.

“(Let me just go ahead and say that I know many of us here are very emotional and political about circumcision, docs and urologists, and the medical field in general. I did not proselytize our cause, nor did I bash his profession, because I had an opportunity to have an open conversation about something near and dear to me and chose the path of mutual respect without animosity, and got the same in return. But when he asked, with no judgment implied, why I was doing restoration I firmly told him my truth: that I wanted back what I felt had been taken from me without my permission, and while I would never know what I was supposed to have had, I wanted to return as much as possible to that state. Dad and grandad were cut, so I had no genetic reference to check out. I let him know how it has made a difference for me physically and psychologically. He nodded and smiled and said he respected that.)

“So this conversation went on for 25 or 30 minutes!!! (another reason I selected him.) He was as fascinated with my story as I was with his details and opinions. He knew a little about t-taping and strapping, even! I had planned ahead and brought my DTR to the office with me. He checked it out, said it looked excellently crafted and seemed perfectly safe. Since trou had already been dropped for the previous probing and upcoming check of the ‘nads, I pulled my shirt tail up and showed him my results. He said that in all honesty, unless he did a close-up exam for mucosal lining and frenulum, I looked completely natural to him. Many of his uncut patients have short foreskins, and I easily “passed” at this point. Keep it up and you’ll be indistinguishable from the real thing. He said one of his re-circ patients was unhappy because his restored foreskin just hung there like the open end of a sock, so he was amazed that I was developing a very realistic looking skin that conformed to my glans well, and he could see there was even a nice little lip beginning to show (exactly where the scar is, he also noted.) I showed him how I apply the DTR, gave it a couple of good tugs, and he was amazed by it. He gave me some insight about skin growth and what I was doing to my body, how the inner mucosal skin and outer skin work together, and overall he didn’t have any concerns about the process as far as possible harm was concerned. Be careful of the amount of force/weights I use, etc. He is going to check the DTR site and find out more about it and its mechanics so that in the future he has more information to offer.

“I have a follow-up in 30 days for the prostatitis bit, and I might just show up with a t-tape and leg strap in place for more show and tell! To be continued…”

Brothers

The first thing I did, really as part of broader research, was look for community. Because of Google and so much information available at most people’s fingertips, I wasn’t worried about finding the information I sought. Finding others, flesh and blood, can be tougher.

NORM (click here for the site) is the National Organization of Restoring Men. The site is packed full of information – much of which can be overwhelming to someone new. Under the NORM Locations link one can find contact information listings for groups local to where you live … unless you live in Indiana. I think for us Hoosiers, the closest options are either Ohio (somewhere) or Chicago, if I remember correctly. That was instantly disappointing.

I’m a resourceful guy, though, for the most part. And when I want something I find a way to get it. For me, the next best shot in the dark was Craigslist, which isn’t something I’d necessarily recommend – for obvious reasons and reasons less obvious. But that’s what I did. If I can, I’ll come back to this post and add the exact wording of the ad I placed. It was in the “Strictly Platonic” section of the site under the “M4M” area.

I knew there would be guys respond who had a million things on their mind, foreskin restoration not one of them. That kind of thing doesn’t bother me – I recognize it’s going to happen and handling it is as easy as telling them to piss off.

The response from the Craigslist ad, so far, has been decent. A slow trickle of replies at the pace of something like one a day or every couple of days for the first few days and things are slowing down now. I’m thinking to post / repost once a month. So far, one guy said he was interested in restoration but almost as quickly confessed that he really just wanted to find a sex friend AND that he didn’t actually think his foreskin “would ever stretch that far.” I have no idea why he even answered the ad and he’s definitely out. There was another guy (“Jim Swails”) who responded to the ad by sending a handful of penis pics mid-jerk and a sentence that read, “I was never circumcised and it feels good.” Yeah, thanks for that, Jim. You’re out, too. Fuckhead.

Thankfully, the rest of the replies (which amount to maybe another five men), were sent from guys who seem entirely sincere as of yet. Each one who answered the ad and seemed like they weren’t just farting around received an email from me with a questionnaire. The questionnaire was something I put together – mostly by myself – to gain information from these brothers so as to gauge where they are with restoration in regard to knowledge of the process, how much they’ve done so far, and what their intentions and hopes out of the group are. This questionnaire was actually used to help weeds out one of the guys mentioned above. As of this post, I’m still waiting on one guy to email his back but the rest who showed interest have filled it out.

Tomorrow I’ll be meeting with two or three of them individually and might connect with a few others in the coming week or two. With this group, so far, I think forming a regularly-meeting, cohesive collection of men will be particularly challenging. The responses have come from an assortment of sexual orientations – the largest representation being from closeted bi men. And the other, like these bi men, are not willing to be “out” at all about their restoring efforts – which I can sympathize with to a degree since I still have my own reservations about letting the world know. Between discretion wanted for sexual orientation and discretion wanted in regard to restoring efforts, I’m foreseeing trouble in conducting meetings.

Somewhere like Starbucks would make a decent meeting place – groups often gather there. We wouldn’t be causing a lot of noise or anything to draw attention to ourselves, but could still gather there and have discussions. Except that is likely way too visible for most of these men, who are surely apprehensive with the idea of chatting about foreskin restoration in public. So coffee shops are out, methinks.

The next option that comes to mind is a member of the group hosting our meetings. But that route not only requires the aforementioned hurdles to be overcome, but also that a member is willing and able to host.

In a phone conversation today, it was suggested by a member that meetings could (if nowhere else) be conducted in a hotel room. He suggested that everyone could chip in and then a hotel room afforded based on the collection taken. In theory I think this could be a great idea, it would certainly afford everyone the privacy I sense is wanted, but in the back of my head I’m afraid the guys of the group would read too much into that and either make inaccurate assumptions about the real nature of the group or would develop some unsavory hopes.

Once these initial individual meetings have gotten out of the way, I think it will be easier to connect these guys in a collective meeting. I’m sure there will be future posts related to this matter.

Thanks for reading.